Alpha Mail: Graduating Gamma report

Z fills us in on his progress:

I thought I would report back on how things have fared since I've taken the advice presented in the Graduating Gamma series.

For a while, it was easy to follow the instructions. But you find yourself backsliding often, especially after the first week or two when the enthusiasm wanes. This is going to be a lifelong battle, I think. My uncle is an alcoholic, who struggles with his addiction. I used to find it hard to believe that someone couldn't just change their behavior and walk away from the bottle. But now I understand. It's that way for Gammas, too.

The hardest part is to stop the lying. Gammas are dishonest by nature. In time, you even start to believe the lies yourself. If I can describe being Gamma in as few words as possible, it would be just that: they are addicted to lies that make them feel good. No lie, however small, is safe for the Gamma, just as liquor is not safe for the alcoholic. So this is the hardest thing for me to change.

A few weeks ago I bought a fast car, something that, once upon a time as a child I had wanted to do. It is a car that has a good following among the muscle car crowd here in America. I went to the local car show/meet with my car and hung out with those people. Most of them were Deltas doing their Delta things. They would talk about car parts, engines, paint jobs and other such things. Of course, other car brands were disparaged (that, too, seems to be a Delta thing). It was very much a man's world, and very different from the computer geek crowd I'm more used to. Even the Alphas present were very gracious and welcoming.

I made a conscious effort to keep the lying under control, and represent myself honestly, as a new person interested in learning about the cars and learning about how to work on mine as well. This was a key point in Graduating Gamma 2. I wasn't entirely successful in the former. Old habits die hard, and some small lies came out before I could stop them (it is a common Gamma failing to speak before you think).

But it was much improved from before. And, I think, a small amount of BSing is considered normal at such an event. That's not an excuse -- I must do better next time -- but it is also true. I had a lot of fun, socializing with the Deltas. Truly, if you approach things from a humble angle, they will welcome you as one of their own. The Alphas and Betas will welcome you, too. They added me to their group, gave me a membership sticker for my car, and made sure to tell me I was welcome at next month's meet. My neighbor, who is also a member, helped me work on my car a few days ago, and taught me some things about it.

That got a little bit off track, but my point is that escaping your Gamma tendencies is neither simple, nor quick, but it is rewarding. I don't know if what I did will work for other Gammas or not. But I found that picking up a masculine hobby was helpful. And truly, when I was young, this was something I wanted to do. I'm not sure when I lost track of that, or why.

But drinking beer at the local dive, hood open in the parking lot, talking about muscle cars, was more therapeutic for me than anything I've ever done before. Please convey my thanks to the original author, and accept my own appreciation.

This is exactly the sort of thing I like to see. The information here is practical. Use it. Social hierarchies are dynamic and you don't have to remain what you are for the rest of your life. Every day, take a small step towards self-improvement.

By this time next year, you might be shocked to look back and discover how far you have come. Go to the gym. Bite your tongue on the lie. Ask out the girl. But above all, get in the game.

Tweet