Delta Perspective: Dating Part 2

I bumped up this release as I think the explanation of the dating plan needs to be completed sooner.

Step 6 and beyond

Why go out with women of low rank, especially if you feel you are of a much higher rank? Well, you have to start somewhere and if this is who’s interested in you it’s the place to start. You aren’t marrying these women; you are going to go out on a date. If she’s totally a disaster you’ll have a funny story and probably still learn something. When I first went down this path I had some weirdos show up, but got some great stories out of it. Here are some of the highlights:

A date with a bi-sexual, dope smoking, elementary school teacher with a club foot. Totally true.
A girl who immediately went into a huge rant about Dubya and by the end of it said she couldn’t stand to eat without music or TV because it sounds like a pig. She then declared she didn’t want to see talk to me anymore, which suited me just fine.
A paralegal who was an NFL fanatic. It actually made for a good couple of dinner dates as I learned more about the NFL teams than I thought possible. She was like a library of NFL information. She was also completely uninteresting beyond that and not very attractive so I never contacted her after a few meetups.

One of the more interesting outcomes from this was that many of the women wanted to know if I was dating a lot from the online site, and when I said I was dating it upped the competition and some got a bit more interested. As though I was some sort of player at that point, this was laughable.

All of this was valuable though because I literally got better at dating, and it got me out of the house. My confidence grew because I knew that the coming weekend I wouldn’t be playing an MMO on a Saturday night but instead be out and about. As my confidence grew so did my status, as my status grew I went out with better women. Suddenly an old flame started texting me, but I wasn’t interested in her anymore and never replied.

As Cail Corishev said yesterday, don’t be evil. In this case, it’s pretty easy to do the right thing which is tell them that you are interested in meeting people, doing fun things, and seeing where it leads. There’s no subterfuge here, because it’s exactly what you are doing. If your conscience still bothers you there’s always that possibility that you’ll meet a girl who you’d never think you’d want to spend your life with, but she turns out to be pretty amazing. It’s possible if extremely improbable, but hey it could happen, right? Just don’t go into this with an expectation of finding the ugly duckling that turns into a swan.

Talk to women

Just engaging in conversation with women is difficult for some men, perhaps even frightening. These men are rarely actually frightened of the woman, but nervous about what to say and forever wrecking a chance with them. The only way I know to overcome this fear is to talk to more women. If you’ve been in a dating drought then expect to make some big blunders and blow opportunities. The important thing is to learn from them. When you say something and a woman’s eyes get wide in discomfort, they quickly leave, or other such very obvious negative responses worry much less about salvaging the situation to start with and instead contemplate what went wrong.

There are more cunning men than me who can give you a litany of responses and clever remarks to have at your disposal but let me help where I can.

If she’s agreed to go on a date with you she’s already interested so relax.
Say less, not more.
Ask her about herself and you won’t have to talk for a while.
Look her in the eye when speaking with her. This is extremely important.
Be prepared for shit tests and if nothing witty comes to mind in reply just stare at her for moment with your mouth closed and shake your head a little with a condescending expression. Keep eye contact and don’t look away, make her turn first.
It’s far less important during a shit test what exactly you say, than making it very clear that you won’t take it.
After the test, immediately move on and be normal. Don’t sulk that she just tested you but instead be glad because when you pass it means you are more valuable not less. She also cares enough to give you one which is a good sign. Women don’t bother with them for men they have no desire to be around.
Don’t get caught up in worrying about saying the coolest, most powerful, best Game comments all of the time. You want to instead be relaxed, confident, and a little indifferent in attitude.

If she’s very interested a few stupid comments on your part won’t sink the ship. Let them go. Gammas have a tendency to obsess over small mistakes.

More Experience

Besides learning how to talk with women there are a thousand little things to learn about being with a woman. If you end up seeing a girl for even a few dates you’ll probably disagree about something. How do you deal with that? Hell, just figuring out interesting things to do after a few dates becomes a challenge. Your budget will change when you date because even if you are reasonable you will have to spend some money to make it happen. The money thing won’t go away when you find a woman you really like so be prepared for it. How about gifts? What if are dating a girl very casually for only a month, but then it’s her birthday, what do you do? I’ve seen Gammas blow a whole relationship by going way overboard on what should have been a simple gift.

You can’t learn all of this by sitting on the sidelines; instead you have to get learn by doing. You need real live women to do this with, just like the only way you get stronger in the gym is to pick up the barbell or get on the machine. It will be awkward and your fail at times, but as Vox said yesterday, “Fail faster.” You’ll soon find you are better all-around in both professional and personal life in dealing with women.

Liking Women

Gammas don’t like women because they either worship them like a goddess or think they are all the spawn of the devil. Is there anything more nauseating than hearing a guy refer to his woman as a “goddess” or “angel”? Women are not demons in disguise either who is a temptation designed to destroy your life. They are not angels who will rescue you from your depression, nor slutty Alpha toys that have no agency when one appears.

One of the key distinguishing features between Gammas and Deltas is that Deltas genuinely like women. They may not be extremely successful with them all, and some are a little afraid of them, but they don’t worship or hate them.

This is why it is important to date, even if they are all of low rank. It will instantly dispel any myths about being angels, but at the same time you can learn to appreciate women for what they are.

Tune out the noise

Once you start dating expect some pushback, especially from family and some of your friends. Your mom will always want you dating someone better no matter whom you bring home, so ignore her completely unless you are planning on marrying the girl. Some of your siblings might be jealous or more likely not like the change in you. It’s comfortable having the brother or cousin who’s never good with women because they know what to expect.

The only friends who will give you real grief are other Gammas. Now, you might get some mild ribbing from some of the other ranks depending on who you bring home one night, but if any of them go beyond that they aren’t your friend. Gammas in particular will go crazy if you start to have success and most will intentionally sabotage your efforts out of jealousy, and all will start to get passive aggressive. Remember that for a Gamma anyone of higher rank is a threat, and don’t be surprised if they accuse you of taking advantage of women or turning into a dudebro or some other such nonsense. They’ll go after you for the low ranking women if that’s who you are seeing at the time too. They are miserable, and they want to you to be miserable too.

Reaching your potential

By dating, practicing, talking to women and understanding what it means to be a man in a woman’s life and the other way around you can better evaluate where you want to go and your upper limits. Tired of dating threes? Then improve yourself. Improve yourself as far as you desire or can and you’ll be better for it. If you fail, learn from it and go faster. Blow a date one weekend, send out two more messages that next week or plan on talking up the next girl you meet. Keep moving forward, keep working on it, and keep going. I’m living proof that this works.