The supportive wife

Stingray explains how a wife can best help her husband who is out of a job:

 In this situation, the help that a husband needs, more than anything else, is to know that you trust him and aren’t afraid.  He needs to know that you 100% support him and trust him to get a new job so he can continue to do his job of leading his family.  He is feeling like he failed, dejected and afraid.  He doesn’t want you to know any of that, at least not all of it so he will put on a strong front, for you as much for himself.  Nothing can take down a vulnerable husband faster than a wife who is afraid and is trying to take control of the situation.

So, what does a wife do?

First and foremost, she learns to let go of the fear.  This is the most difficult thing for her to do.  You’ll have to fake it at first, but lying awake at night worrying is going to wear on both of you.  Even as you’re faking it, your husband will have an inkling that you are afraid, that little bit you can’t hide in your eyes.  You must work to be truly not afraid.  You must work to put your trust completely in him, so much so that you are literally 100% unafraid of this situation.  The way in which this will build him up and give him confidence is not in me to describe.  But your complete faith in him will drive him to do whatever he can to get back on his feet.

Another thing she can do is stop talking about things she wants and money she wants to spend. Few things are more frustrating for a husband under financial pressure than a wife babbling about how she'd like to go on a three-week cruise when he's trying to figure out how he's going to pay the mortgage next month.

Letting go of the fear is good, but a basic recognition of reality is also desirable.

Sex also helps. It's somewhat counterinstinctive, as a wife is probably going to find herself less attracted to an unemployed husband, but his stress levels are going to be high and nothing reduces stress like sex.

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