Alpha Mail: answering the re-ask

BT repeats a question:

While I appreciate the post itself, I find myself ticked off at the comments section and how quickly it spiraled downhill, with the exception of Cail, Cataline, and Corvinus who at least addressed the kino/physical part I was curious about.

Since Doom basically hijacked it and made it about himself, I figured I might as well re-ask the question that got ignored:

I do remember reading something a long while ago about alternating Alpha/Beta (Beta in the sense of how the rest of the manosphere uses it) depending on how the LTR is. If DHV is needed, then Alpha, but if reassurance is needed and it's not a shit test, then Beta. So if I'm remembering that right, should Mate-guarding hand ever come out and used as a tool of reassurance?

At least with you, you can give a personal example of "I've never needed to do that at all" or "I've used it sometimes".

I think the "Mate-Guarding Hand" should never be brought out in a defensive capacity when the threat posed is one presented by another male. I think I can say honestly that I've never used it beyond some immature public "see, I have a girlfriend and she's real" posturing with my first two girlfriends.

That tends to point towards part of the problem with the Mate-Guarding Hand; if it makes you look like a junior high boy who is primarily concerned with demonstrating that he is too good enough to get a girl, it's not a good move for a grown man. If you feel the need to send a message, a simple swat on the ass will convey ownership in a much more dominant way.

But you should feel any such need. Public attention from another man when you are there is a straightforward loyalty test. You should welcome the information it provides, because she isn't likely to behave any better when you're not around. If she shows insufficient loyalty, next her without hesitation or explanation. Don't try to "guard her" against her own inclinations, because that's her responsibility, not yours, just as your behavior is your own responsibility.

The only time I can remember someone trying to move in on SB in front of me was when the bassist from a popular local band literally tried to position himself in between the two of us in order to block me out of the conversation. I didn't mate-guard her, I simply tapped him on the shoulder and made a "step aside" gesture with my hand. He looked at me, at which point SB introduced me as her fiance and he promptly backed away.

Give your girl the chance to prove her loyalty, don't take it away from her. This doesn't mean you can't ever put your arm around her in public, or physically reassure her if she's feeling threatened by female interest in you, but then, such actions are not mate-guarding by definition. The question isn't really her reassurance is needed, then obviously it isn't mate-guarding. The problem is when you are trying to reassure yourself through your own actions.

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